Even though there are so many problems around me, right now I feel at ease and I feel at bliss.
The first way I was able to do this, was by realising that there is absolutely nothing that I could do to change someone. And I am glad! I cannot force someone to behave a certain way, to think a certain way or to make a certain decision. I used to try to be a persuader. But why? What puts me in such a position to do that? What makes me right? I realized this was called the illusion of control. They call it an illusion, because we think we can control the situation, when really, we cannot do anything about it. You cannot change someone: simples! Change does not take place overnight and this is another reason why you cannot force change upon someone. Change requires study, practice and most importantly the initial decision that change is required. The only person to take on these duties is that one individual.
No. 2: Acceptance
I have accepted who I am, where I am, and how I am viewed in society. I have accepted that I come from a poor family. I have accepted that my family has problems. I have accepted that I am a babysitter after going to university. I have accepted that I do not have many clothes. I have accepted my holes in my 2-year old gym trainers. I have freedom in my acceptance of my life.
Be comfortable, being uncomfortable
I cut my hair August 13, 2017. I saw so many black girls going natural and I was getting tired of my relaxed hair anyway (#boredom), so I shaved it off! I got the clippers from my mum’s room and one, two, three, shave! There was no going back. I had even done it a bit too short! I laughed when I had done it because I looked so different! (Even though others said I looked the same!) I had never seen myself with my natural hair. For as long as I can remember I always relaxed my hair. Furthermore, I do not wear any make-up! The most make-up I put on my face is mascara, and that’s only if I am going out. My face accessories include my hair and earrings, and now my hair was gone I had to continue to be me. I forgot my hair was shaved because when you walk around town you don’t think about how you look like, you forget right? I would remember that my head was shaved from other people’s facial expressions. Going to work and facing judgement. From being seen one way to being seen being seen another way. I cannot control what people think of me, so I have become comfortable being uncomfortable.
I view myself as this tiny spectacle in this enormous world, but this enormous world is pointless. It sounds weird right? Sadhguru first mentions in his definition of purpose when he said there is no purpose of us being here. At first, I didn’t get it… how can there no point of us being here? At the end of the day, we live and we die. It is so simple. We live and we die and in-between is the challenge! The challenge of survival, the challenge of understanding, the challenge of experience…problem after problem provides us with challenge, after challenge. The challenge gives us some purpose, but overall, there is no reason the Earth, the universe even exists.
A bird’s eye perspective
Looking at the world from such a perspective of the globe, has allowed me to slow down time. I feel timeless and at bliss. I feel like I am in a big world of pointlessness. And it is amusing, because some people would fret about this and say that we have to have some purpose, we are here for a reason, and try to explain it, but we are all going to die, so why worry? It’s like we are in a huge game, with politicians trying to run the world, millions of people working for a mortgage, kids coming into the picture and so on and so on. This gaming type of view, where you have to complete this challenge to get to the next level, and then a new challenge comes along or you set one up for yourself, to get to another level just makes everything seem so much easier.