I have come to realise that there are two types of people: those who want responsibility and those who don’t. This is even inclusive of the critical responsibility to take care of yourself and to make sure YOU fulfil your basic needs including food, clothing and shelter!
The irresponsible person
In the previous post about a film called “Juice”, I spoke a little bit about an irresponsible person called Bishop. He did not make it his responsibility to sort out his (family) issues. He was someone who wished things were different in society and executed his wish in a violent and ineffective way.
One could argue that Bishop was incapable of solving his issues because he did not have the intelligence to know what action to take. But then to counter this point, he could have gained the intelligence had he gone looking for it.
The irresponsible person and responsible person both have been given the same task to solve. The difference is one makes an attempt to solve the root of the problem, the other doesn’t.
Failed attempt = Irresponsible?
With a failed attempt, does that mean you are irresponsible? What if you tried and tried again, but the attempts failed and failed again? Are you irresponsible? No because initially you attempted to solve the problem.
The Responsible Person
You know that if you work for something, the reward which you will receive is greater than if you receive a reward for no reason. For example, if you exercise and eat healthy and create your ideal figure for yourself, compared to the option of getting liposuction, you will feel a greater sense of achievement! You therefore earned your reward.
Many people start off being responsible and attempting to solve their problems themselves. Understandably, sometimes there may be a plateau, where the person wishes their ideal solution would manifest already, as fatigue begins to set in. [Sometimes the way you wanted it to work out can actually enhance more toxic beliefs, a topic for another day.]
Other people like to find a BLAME for the problem. If the blame falls down to something or someone outside of themselves, they will seek compensation.
The responsible people therefore divide into:
- The person who feels like they ALREADY DOING something.
- The person who feels like they are OWED something.
[These could even be two sides of the same coin (a.k.a. the same person)!]
ALREADY DOING Something
You are currently and have been DOING something but it is not or has not worked (how you wanted or it’s created a new set of problems). This means something is going wrong in the equation and this would be a direct result of your beliefs.
For example, you want to lose weight. You believe you can do so by eating more cake. After 3 months you have gained weight. You therefore find out that your belief would have mislead you.
We all know that eating more cake will not lead to weight loss because it has already been TRIED and TESTED. But of course, “tailor-made fits best” so you can do your own study to see whether you will lose weight by eating more cake.
Whenever you create a study for yourself, make sure that you give yourself a time limit so you can constantly review and assess your knowledge and therefore beliefs!
If you feel you are owed something then you must let the person know that you believe you are owed compensation. If possible, this would be settled in court under a fair judicial system and you will receive your due reward. But in cases where there is no court, what do you do? If you feel you are owed by God, for example, do you take God to court?
There are some problems which land upon us which we cannot understand why they exist in our lives. But if you cannot explain the suffering and you don’t know where it came from, then you don’t have anyone to blame, so do you have the right to think you are owed?
What if the judicial system is not fair? Then you can be the person to try to create a fairer judicial system.
If there is a problem and you attempt to solve it, you are a responsible person. And if your attempt does not solve the problem, review and analyse by asking “why”, including reviewing your beliefs which underpin you! If looked at the cause of the problem and found out that it was not your fault, and you want compensation feel free to seek it, even if you just want an explanation! Just remember that you cannot force someone (or something) to compensate you.